As part of Mental Health Awareness Week, we’re proud to share something special from one of our members, Phil Seymour.

After seeing Phil openly and generously share his experience of navigating AuDHD on LinkedIn, we reached out to ask if he’d be willing to share his story with our community too. We’re incredibly grateful he said yes. Phil kindly shared the below with us, and we’re proud to pass it on. “After masking and struggling for many years, I was diagnosed in my early 40’s with Autism and ADHD. This neurodiverse overlap is often referred to as AuDHD.

 

Life often feels hard for me to explain, it feels like my brain is working on several different conflicting operating systems at the same time. This explains why things can feel so intense but also so unclear at the same time.

 

Autism affects processing and ADHD affects regulation, it feels like my brain is constantly conflicting with stimulation and safety and perhaps explains things like task paralysis and burnout.

 

Many people with AuDHD, including myself, develop a strong inner critic early in life that never seems to switch off. Feedback becomes internalised. I notice details others miss, but forget to eat or drink, the basics others take for granted. These contractions do not cancel each other out, they coexist.

 

Masking becomes automatic as a protection and that is exhausting. To me, it happens without conscious choice. Having to talk when expected, smile at that important time or mask confusion and emotions. It’s not dishonesty, it’s about survival and comes at a cost including emotional hangovers, shutdowns and a constant feeling of being misunderstood.

 

High empathy and low tolerance makes me feel that I am either too much or not enough. To me, sharing my feelings and challenges is for understanding and that is not a label, it is relief. Over the years I’ve have found things that have a huge positive impact on my mental health. Remembering to do them is the hardest thing so trying to be organised and disciplined is vital.

 

– Setting reminders/alarms to make sure I do that task or drink that cup of water

– Sensory pens and stationery that associate/separate work and life

– Lists that get longer not shorter but that’s ok if something gets ticked off occasionally

– Forcing myself away from that task or activity and making the time to walk outside and reset/refocus

– Sometimes it’s better not to answer that call or email or message and just reply asking for a bit of time or space

– Setting boundaries that can move but are there to separate work and life and not get intrigued or drawn in when needing to reset

 

My biggest enjoyment is photography and using my camera to capture my family’s adventures or the people and places that I go to. Thinking about the light and shadows, the composition and leading lines, looking for distractions or items in the way and not just taking a shot but moving a few steps to the left or right or even turning around. Looking for different things that others don’t see or take hopefully makes some of my images interesting and appealing.

 

I take the time to check in with people that reach out or I’ve not heard from for a while, just because we might seem and appear ok, doesn’t mean we are masking.

 

Sometimes it’s better to not ask are you ok, closed book answer at the ready – make the time to understand or show understanding.”

 

We can’t thank you enough for sharing this with us, Phil – we’re sure it will resonate with many people.

 

And finally, we cheekily asked if we could share some of Phil’s fantastic photography too, which you’ll see alongside this post.